Here’s a brief excerpt from her book:
“Mom, you don’t spend enough time with me.”
Those words, of my then six-year-old son, stung worse than any other type of hurt imaginable … because he was right.
But, how did we get here?
In 2013, my husband Benji and I discussed finding another avenue of income that would bring in extra money, not take up much family time—preferably something we could do together, and would have a positive impact in our community. We found that with a direct sales company.
Along with sales increasing, my unhappiness was too. Just like most families, we fell into this daily pattern of work/school, homework, dinner, bath, bed – repeat! Mamas, do you ever feel like this? Stuck in an unhealthy pattern like a broken merry-go-round? I had no idea what to do about it. I wanted it all. I wanted to be home with my kids and run this amazing business. I didn’t even know where to begin, so I just did nothing.
Hearing our struggles one evening, Frank came into the room and said, “Mama, Daddy, let’s just pray about it. God will answer you.” Out of the mouth of babes comes a divine inspiration.
The truth bomb that my son delivered hurt, but looking back, I can see how the Holy Spirit was speaking through him to be the catalyst to put God’s plan in place.
To order your copy of Truth, click here.
I get asked all the time “Why did you write Truth?”
The truth is, I almost didn’t. I thought, “Who would even want to hear this part of my story?” But as I prayed about it, God brought me back to the time when He met me in my Bethesda. You see, I was the lame man on the mat. Boldly stating what my heart desired, but for some reason or another, I never fulfilled that desire. There was always someone faster, better, stronger, closer, more able to grab a hold of that desire.
Even when Jesus Himself came and asked the man directly (John 5:6 NIV) if he wanted to be healed, Jesus knew this was the desire of his heart,; however, the man quickly replied with nothing but excuses. Jesus was offering this man a miracle and all he could do was give him excuses! Granted, there is no indication that this man knew who Jesus was … but I do. I fell to the floor that day in Birmingham. Being a guest at this mega church in the FRONT ROW there was no hiding now. I was literally paralyzed on the floor just like this man. Time became paralyzed just like I was. It was in that moment that I felt someone kneel beside me and embrace me. I knew it was HIM! The conversation with Jesus went something like this:
“I said, ‘What is the desire of your heart?’” Jesus said with compassion and a hint of annoyance.
“Lord, what if it doesn’t work out? If this fails, it is all on me.” I said through many tears.
“You call me Lord, and yet you still doubt Me? Have I not met your EVERY need and calmed EVERY worry you had? Did I not make the impossible possible?” He said sternly and repeated, “What is the desire of your heart?”
“I want to stay at home with my kids, Lord.” I said boldly.
“You know what you have to do,” He whispered. I’m convinced there was an audible eye roll when He continued. “Well, then, get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”
I stood up with tears still streaming down my face, looked at my husband, Benji, and said “I’m ready.”
The next time I saw my boss, I turned in my resignation, and I haven’t looked back since. Jesus knew the desire of my heart. He placed it there. He was calling me to a new life. The rest of the world was saying I couldn’t, so instead of trusting Jesus, I fell into the crowd and believed them. I believed the lies and covered them up with excuses. Jesus kept ripping off the lies and the harder He worked, the harder I fought back in fear.
Enough was enough. Jesus knew that in order for me to hear Him, I had to be taken to a place of complete brokenness where He could silence everything and everyone else. It was a place where my only option was to surrender and step into obedience.
So why did I write Truth? It is my heart for moms out there to know that they can step into greatness and do what God has called them to do. They CAN follow their dreams. When we step out of fear and complacency into obedience, God will show us the way. Whether this is to transition to being a stay at home mom, stepping into the mission field, changing careers, whatever. God will show the way. We need to cast away our fears and excuses and stop “being stuck” in our own personal Bethesda and step into greatness.
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