History’s Little-Known New Year’s Resolutions


January 1 . . .

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Take a vacation this year. Maybe a cruise. – Christopher Columbus

1877
Now that I’ve invented the phone, my goal is see what I can do about text messaging. –Alexander Graham Bell

1742
Do something about that cherry tree dad’s always complaining about. – George Washington

1993
Invent the Internet. – Al Gore

1895
Go out for basketball this year. – Albert Einstein

1901
Stop telling Wilbur to go fly a kite. – Orville Wright.

William_Shakespeare_16091587
Work on my speling. – Williams Shakespeare

 

1969
Be more active. Stop simply sitting and staring out windows. – Bill Gates.

1830 B.C.
Work up some new recipes for manna. – Zipporah (Moses’ wife)

1955
Fix up the yard this year. And do something about all those chickens. – Colonel Sanders

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Buy Wolfgang that banjo he wants. – Anna Maria Mozart

1974
Ask my wife. to stop getting her peanut butter in my chocolate. – Billy Bob Reeses

2012, 2013, 2014, 2015
Hit the Bahamas for a few weeks. – S. Claus

20140407-nirvana-x306-13969021061991
Buy air freshener. Do something about whatever smells like teen spirit. – Kurt Cobain

 

1963
Find something new to say besides, “They’re not so bad!” – Tony the Tiger

1985
Take up a hobby. – Tiger Woods

1953
Make Clark put away his Halloween costume. It’s January already! – Martha Kent

1111932
Teach Tarzan about adjectives. – Jane

1972
Do something about my graying hair. – Ronald McDonald

1503
Find a way to get Mona to notice me. What do I have to do: draw a picture?? – Leonardo da Vinci

 

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